Merciful god, I'm turning into such a degenerate! Ah, well -- as hobbies go, this beats the bejesus out of, say, latchhook rugs, or collecting bottlecaps. You may recall that I mentioned my UK buddy Chris below; well, I've been promising to send him a DVD featuring some, uh, short-subject documentaries that I'd made with my digital camcorder. Chris wheedled me into enclosing a pair of cumstained boxer briefs along with the DVD, and this morning I decided that I might as well add one more load of fresh semen to the underwear before shoving them into the padded envelope and heading for the post office. (I was kinda blueballing anyway after an uncompleted edging session last night.) So, I sat down at the computer, opened up a few juicy JPEGs, and soon had my kielbasa up to a full-on erection. Right then, conveniently enough, I got an IM from some guy who'd seen one of my posts on Chronic Penis Masturbators. ''Perfect,'' I sez to myself, and the following conversation ensued -- his comments in italics, mine in boldface:

masturfuckingbate buddy...I've admired your posting in club stroke and chronicpenismasturbators....keep pulling man, I'm edging today!
good timing, man... i just lubed up my stiff dick
great man! love the looks of your big spongy head!
it's so fucking swollen right now, dude... love to masturbate my fuckin' ERECT PENIS
oh man totally turned on, would love to watch you walk around naked with that rigid erection wobblin and bouncin!
fuck, guy, i wish you were here... we'd be fuckin' naked, masturbating, showing off our throbbing erections to each other... getting so fucking turned on from checking out another man's hard penis
yeah, love it
oh fuck... just tasted some of my precum, guy
love em rock hard and straining or even soft and floppy, big fucking round ball sacs turn me on, big fucking porn pervert here, love collecting tons of it!
cool man... i myself love to collect amateur porn... just regular guys like me armed with digital cameras and their stiff dicks that they want to show off to the world
amateur porn is the only kind bud, the lewder the better, love looking at other gooned up jackers
oh fuck yeah.... seeing a man totally blissed out on his own cock
I love a guy offering me his cock, shaking and taunting me with prick!
wow, I just shot a spermload... I was edging for hours yesterday evening and didn't finish then
fuckkkkkkk great buddy, let me know if you feel like edding some time, I'm going for few more hours today...
sure will, man... added you to my buddy list
Now I've gotta go to the post office... I'm gonna mail the underwear that I just blew my jizz all over to a buddy!
wow! perverts unite!

So, the package is all ready to go now; if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick errand to run...