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I just sent the following message to Chronic Penis Masturbators...

> HEY KENNY! LET'S FUCKIN MASTURBATE... I HAVE ALL
> EVENING TO PLAY WITH YOU/COACH YOU TO SPERM...

Yeah, man! Get that dick out and masturbate it like a man's gotta do... And you know that as you're stroking, there are thousands of other guys out here rubbing their erect penises just like you are. The best part of being a fuckin' MAN is having a big hard DICK that you can pull out and MASTURBATE to give yourself total pleasure. So go ahead and stroke your THROBBING COCK, make the SEMEN churn in your big HEAVY BALLS, all full of BILLIONS of thrashing little SPERM, and the source of the TESTOSTERONE that makes boys into ADULT MALES -- men who are STRONG, HAIRY, MASCULINE, and HORNY, and who need to rub their ERECT PENISES, who need to feel their own MANHOOD, until they're ready to EJACULATE that hot JIZZ everywhere.

Imagine you're with a buddy... showing him your cock... unembarrassed to have an ERECTION in front of another male because it happens to all of us men. And a guy should be PROUD to show off his DICK, to show his buddy how THICK and RIGID his PENIS becomes when it's FULLY ERECT. And your buddy is hard, too... he's HARD from seeing your BIG MAN DONG... your fucking MASCULINITY gives the dude a boner, and you've got one too, looking at his HARD PRECUM-SLICK SHAFT. Two MEN totally ERECT just from admiring each other's big, hairy MALE PENISES.

HAIL PHALLUS!

...with the following attachment, which I just threw together with Paint Shop Pro and a .gif animation utility:

Okay, I think I've officially crossed the line into debilitating addiction, here. Where's my meds, dammit? (And what meds would one take, come to think of it?)