Consumer report

Went on a whirlwind tour of various adult video stores and leather shops in the West Village yesterday, on a quest to buy a silicone sheath of the kind I described in my non-fiction story ''The Buddy Sleeve''. Finally found the exact make and model in one of the adult-novelty shops that's nestled among the row of tattoo parlors by the West 4th St. subway station on Sixth Avenue. In case you're inclined to pick one up for your own use, the package looked like this and the price tag was $17.95 -- somewhat pricey, I thought, but with memories of that afternoon with my buddy going through my mind and quickening my breath as I stood there among the flavored lubes, ball stretchers, and vibrating clit wands, I had no trouble plunking down the cash.

Went out last night with some friends, got home feeling tired and reeking of the demon gin, so I didn't get around to trying out the sleeve until this afternoon. Out of the package, the thing looks like a cross between a jellyfish and a sea cucumber: it's a transparent cylinder of thick, soft silicon rubber, five-and-a-half inches long and lined with little nubbins that are obviously meant to produce a tickling sensation. (But it's easily everted in case you want a completely smooth sheath to slide your dick into.)

Li'l Brooklyn Jack was thrilled and rarin' to go as I got the sleeve out of its package. The soft silicone rubber produces plenty of friction against the skin, so I had to apply some Albolene before I could begin to ease myself into the sheath. Once my penis was adequately lubed, the sleeve went on easily; since it's open at both ends, you can just slide the thing down your erect shaft until the glans pokes out.

I jacked off for a while with the sleeve, and here's my honest review -- while I thought it was pretty fucking hot to see my rigid dick encased in the clear rubber tube, and especially the way I could see the material stretching over my cockhead, it didn't do much for me as a solo masturbation toy. Whether I put it on with all the little knobbies inside or outside, the inert material just doesn't feel as nice as the warm skin of my palm. [That's the closest I'm gonna come to a ''palm Sunday'' joke in this post, I swear. --Ed.] But that's okay, because from experience, I know that this product's real, albeit unadvertised, function is for double-jacking two dicks when you and a buddy are in the mood for some C2C fun. The rubber is stretchy enough to accommodate two fully erect adult penises, and the material's elasticity really keeps the two shafts in full contact. (You and your bud can enter from opposite ends, or put your erections together while sitting face-to-face and then stretch the sleeve down over both hard dongs.) Plus you get the sight of the two lube-slick penises sliding back and forth like reciprocating pistons inside the clear sleeve -- hot, hot, HOT!

Man, I can hardly wait to feel a buddy's dick in there with mine...