Jackin' on the job

A participant on the Brooklyn Jackolytes Yahoo group posts a sizzling-hot true confession and a practical question. Let's get the question out of the way first:

^{One of my great pleasures when I get the chance to m2m is lapping up that precum and eating the occasional whole load. Does Albolene taste bad? Most lubes (except the flavored ones) ruin a good blow job.}

Nah, Albolene doesn't taste bad at all -- in fact, my dog loves eating it!

Oh, shit, maybe I shouldn't have phrased it that way. No, seriously, guys -- come back! This isn't gonna turn out like one of those friend-of-a-friend stories about the lonely housewife with a golden retriever and a jar of peanut butter, I swear. The thing is, when I'm masturbating at the computer -- my usual spot to j/o, so that I can look at JPEGs of horny men displaying their erect dicks, or chat with other dudes while I'm stroking -- I often keep the open tub of Albolene on the floor next to my chair so that I can just reach down and scoop up another dab whenever I need to.

So, there I am one day, just a-wankin' away like a lonely sailor, and I hear: creeaaaak... click click click click. It's only my dog, nosing his way into the bedroom. He looks at me as if to say ''Oh, you're doing THAT again''; it's nothing he hasn't seen before, so like a good dog he does the circle-three-times thing and flumps himself down on the blanket I keep for him in the corner of the room -- the steam pipe for the radiator runs under that section of the floor, making it an ideal spot for a weary mutt to nap in the winter months. I get back to what I was doing -- I don't recall exactly what it was, but in tribute to our troops in Iraq, let's say for the sake of discussion that I was working up a fantasy involving several horndog GIs having a circle jerk together. I'm getting into the goon state, totally focused on PENIS, when all of a sudden I hear a slurping sound. I look towards the source of the noise, and there's the dog chowing down from the open jar of Albolene.

''Hey, that stuff costs daddy $11 a tub,'' I objected, snatching the lube away from him, although I knew the futility of trying to make a dog understand household budgets. I wasn't worried about the effect of the stuff on the pooch's gastrointestinal system; he's swallowed worse, believe me, and anyway I've checked out the ingredients of Albolene and I know that everything in there is neutral and non-toxic. (Incidentally, I've heard that in the old days, before hippies discovered mung beans and everyone had faith in Better Living Through Chemistry, some folks actually used to eat a spoonful of petroleum jelly -- one of Albolene's major ingredients -- on a daily basis. It was supposed to promote bowel health, or something. At least, that's what I've heard.)

So, anyway, the dog and I can both vouch that Albolene has no particular flavor -- in fact, I know from personal experience that it's possible to discern the flavor of precum even when there's Albolene on a buddy's dick. It does have a somewhat greasy "mouthfeel," but if that bothers you, the stuff wipes away pretty easily. So if your j/o sessions with a buddy incorporate some knob-gobbling, just grab a towel and wipe off the excess lube before you take that big throbbing man dick into your hungry mouth.

So much for the question. Now for the sizzling-hot confession:

^{Thanks for the site, man. Keeps me bone-hard at work. Reading your blog got me so hot I took out my boner and jacked it off under my desk. Stalagmites (-tites?) of cum dripping from the underside of the top! Got that cleaned up and joined this club. Thanks again.}

Wow, dude! I'm sure I'm not the only one who got a fucking stiffy from thinking about you masturbating your dick right there in the office. (By the way, stalactites cling tight to the ceiling, while stalagmites grow from the ground. Here at Brooklyn Jack, edu-tainment is on the menu every single day!) Your post reminds me of the poll question that I wanted to put up after talking with the Russian guy the other evening -- it turns out that we'd both jacked off in the public toilets around the perimeter of the Kremlin wall by Red Square! (''I've hoid of the Russian Tearoom, but this is ridiculous!'' [SFX: *rimshot*] ''Thank you, I'll be here in the Catskills all week.'') Not exactly the freshest-smelling venue I've ever been in, and you have to be on the alert for the elderly charwoman who comes through with a mop every now and then. Maybe things are better now; I haven't been to Moscow since '94.

So, the poll question is: Have you ever masturbated in a semi-public place? Use your own best judgment in defining semi-public. What definitely doesn't count is wanking by yourself in a single-occupancy public toilet, where there's really no likelihood of any sane person interrupting your efforts. Jacking in a stall in a busy men's room while other guys are walking by, does count -- someone might conceivably glance through the crack to verify whether the stall is occupied or not. Masturbating under a blanket on a transoceanic flight? Yep, that definitely counts. At the office? Duh. Feel free to submit juicy details in the comments field that comes up when you click on ''View Results.''

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com