The votes are in!

Finally got around to closing the third Brooklyn Jack poll, on masturbation in semi-public settings. With 171 votes total, 96 guys, or 56%, said that they'd stroked dong with strangers -- standing at urinals, in the woods, at highway rest-stops, and other places.

One of my favorite comments was from a dude who wrote that he jacks off in the study carrells at the university library. Man, did that bring back some memories. As I've written earlier, back in the pre-Web days, it wasn't easy finding the kind of porn that I wanted to look at -- namely, porn with fuckin' hairy naked men showing off their hard dicks. So... I improvised. I went crazy with my parents' camcorder during the summers, when they were at work and I at home by myself during the day. Made many movies, often talking to myself on camera, because of course what I really wanted was to hear a buddy saying this stuff to me... urging me to ''Rub your hard hairy erection, man, while you're watching me masturbate.''

Besides those home movies, I made do with Hustler -- I found the magazine kinda creepy and misogynist, and I imagine that straight guys find those silicone-boobed porn starlets to be just as plastic and unappealing as the shaved-chest Ken doll look that tends to predominate in gay skinflix -- but the magazine had two saving graces: (1) there was always a "couples" photo section with a male model waving his (hung, but not necessarily hard) dick in the face of a woman who was eagerly pulling open her beaver flaps for his inspection; and (2) among the tons of porn ads in the back, there were plenty of postage-stamp-sized stills from, ahem, "All Male'' collections.

Oh, wait, but let's return to the guy in the poll comments section, stroking his wood in the study carrell. Apart from my home movies and Hustler, there was the library at the University of Virginia, which had on its shelves such dick-hardening titles as... The Hite Report on Male Sexuality (don't snicker, now; this is what I had to make do with back then, and the chapters on Masturbation and Homosexual Activities were scorching HOT!); and the Joy of Gay Sex -- the original version, which would be a wee bit creepy now because of the scornful attitude towards rubbers [I'm pretending I'm living in a completely sane world where the idea of glamorizing bareback fucking was completely unimaginable --Ed.], but which also had some really fucking hot sketches of -- oh, damn, my knees were trembling with excitement there among the library shelves -- men having sex with men. Also on the shelf was something with a title like, uh, Sgt. Swann's Safe Sex Guide. The titular ''sergeant'' was one of Dirk Yates' crew -- whether he was a for-real Marine or not, he and his ghostwriter produced some pretty hot reading material -- and I'd sit there in the library, in the most isolated carrell I could find, and just read and read and read these descriptions of men, of penises, of men playing with or sucking each other's erections, and of course I'd be ragingly boned myself, playing pocket pool, rubbing my stiff dick through my khakis (UVa fratboys inevitably wore khakis; I wasn't in a frat, but liked the look). And finally I'd just ejaculate in my pants -- I wasn't worried about anyone seeing a wet spot, because I figured my underwear would soak up most of the jizz, but I'd replace the books on the shelf pretty quick and hustle outside lest anyone smell the odor of semen coming from me.

Of course, I've gotten a little bolder now that I'm older; some months ago -- I guess it was last summer, actually -- I hooked up with a guy from my neighborhood for some afternoon fun. He ended up ejaculating on my chest and face, and I didn't wipe it off; just smeared it around and let it dry. I walked home like that, after checking in his bathroom mirror to make sure you couldn't tell. You couldn't tell, in fact. But I knew.

On that note, the newest poll question is gonna be: What kinda crazy stuff have you guys done with your semen after ejaculating? Now, most of the time I just let the load go all over my torso; it's very gratifying to see and feel the warm slippery white sperm shooting out of my erect penis and onto my pubes or chest hair, depending on the angle of my dick and the force of the ejaculation. Then I wipe up and... [SFX: Tinnngggggg!] ...all clean!

But from time to time, I have gotten a little more creative. And now I'm gonna find out how much of a freak I am, because all of the choices in the new poll are things that I've actually done myself at least once.

So, besides shooting it on yourself, what other creative uses have you found for that warm white stuff? I guess we'll make this a checkbox poll, so that you can pick more than one answer:

In the past month, I have: Lifted my legs over my head and ejaculated in my own mouth Saved up several loads in the freezer and then thawed 'em out so that I could drink my own semen or use it as lube while masturbating Tried to see how far I could shoot it, horizontally Ejaculated in a favorite pair of underwear (jockstrap, etc.) for subsequent sniffing Shot my sperm onto the pages of a porn mag, or a printout of a 'Net buddy's cock pic Rubbed some on my face or in my hair to let it dry so that I could go out in public with dried spooge on me Mixed my semen into pancake batter or a blender drink, or otherwise used it as an ingredient in something I was going to consume Left a puddle for my dog to lap up [I have no idea whether felines dig human jizz, but cat owners can check this as appropriate] Carefully dabbed it up with a Kleenex -- I don't really get into playing around with my baby batter.

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

UPDATE: Oh, yeah... I guess I shoulda included ''lick it up from my hand'' as an option, as that's just what I did after a session of very hot, popper-fueled 'bate chat this afternoon, with a certain guy in Austin, Texas. Hi, Mark!