Special delivery

It's Friday. My last Friday in New York City. I guess I can officially rule out my fantasy of inviting the burly UPS guy in for an afternoon of beer and masturbation. As though to taunt me, a series of JPEGs in which a UPS deliveryman does something extremely unprofessional showed up today on one of the Yahoo! groups I'm subscribed to. (I'd tell you dudes which one, except that the group is no longer accepting new subscriptions, so there's no point.) Look at all that fucking chest hair! Say, if I ever flip out and become a would-be transsexual serial killer -- ''It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!'' -- this fella's torso would make such a comfy bathmat, dontcha think?

Just kidding.